A Quiet Pause in Pleasanton: Finding Balance Amid the Discord

Personal Reflection on the Alumni Event of 12.14 in NYC

Sitting in Pleasanton, California, a tranquil haven during the holiday season, I can't help but reflect on the group chats related to the event that took place in New York City on 12.14, an alumni gathering organized under the banner of the Tongji Foundation (TJF). On the surface, the event had clear value: a platform that promised career development discussions, professional networking, and growth opportunities, especially for young alumni and professionals.

Yet, beneath its good intentions lies a deeper discord, a rising hum of confusion, frustration, and division that has quietly gripped the alumni community. The tension doesn’t stem from the event itself but from the process by which it was organized. It all comes down to a simple yet profound question: who speaks for the community, and how should alumni activities be coordinated to honor the collective spirit?

The Event That Sparked More Than Participation

The 12.14 event delivered on its promise in many ways. Alumni came together to engage in discussions about career development, education, and professional opportunities. Those who attended likely left with insights, connections, and renewed energy, a mark of success by any standard.

But events are not just defined by their outcomes; they are shaped by the processes that lead to them. And it’s the process of organizing 12.14 that stirred the most debate in the group chat. For weeks leading up to the event, and in conversations that followed, a growing concern emerged:

• Why was the local New York Tongji Alumni Association bypassed?

• Who decides what represents the alumni community as a whole?

• How do new initiatives balance innovation and tradition without causing confusion or conflict?

The Tongji alumni network, like any vibrant, evolving community, relies on a delicate balance between new ideas and established structures. When initiatives emerge without clear communication or collaboration, they risk creating unintended division. And in this case, the bypassing of existing local chapters has caused many to pause and question: Are we building together, or are we fracturing what already exists?

This discord was not about rejecting new ideas or events like 12.14; it was about how we organize, communicate, and respect the networks that have long served as pillars of connection.

Discord as Opportunity

From my seat in Pleasanton, far from the conversations unfolding in New York, I’m struck less by the conflict and more by what it represents: passion. Passion is the lifeblood of any community, without it, there would be no debate, no questioning, and no drive to improve.

Conflict, when handled constructively, has the potential to reveal what matters most. It pushes us to ask the hard but necessary questions:

• Are we honoring the values of transparency and unity in how we organize?

• How can we create a space for innovation while respecting the foundations already in place?

• What does it mean to serve the alumni community in ways that uplift all voices?

These questions aren’t just about 12.14. They speak to something far more enduring: the future of how we, as alumni, connect, collaborate, and create shared value.

Returning to Balance: Being and Doing

From Pleasanton, I write not to take sides but to offer a quiet reflection on the need for balance, a balance between being and doing.

• Purpose Should Guide Action
  An event like 12.14 holds immense value when its purpose is clear: to bring alumni together to learn, connect, and grow. But purpose alone is not enough. The process by which we organize matters, too. Collaboration, transparency, and respect ensure that purpose translates into trust, unity, and long-term impact.

• Conflict Can Lead to Clarity
  Discord is uncomfortable, yes, but it is also a sign of life. It signals that people care deeply enough to engage, challenge, and question. When approached thoughtfully, conflict can clarify our mission and strengthen our shared resolve.

• Absence Can Offer Perspective
  Though I wasn’t in New York to attend 12.14 or the upcoming alumni gatherings for new year celebrations, distance has its own contribution. Stepping back allows me to see the bigger picture: the Tongji alumni community is a living, evolving network. Tensions will arise as it grows, but it’s how we respond, not with division but with dialogue, that will shape our future.

A Pleasanton Perspective

Here in Pleasanton, the calm provides clarity. It reminds me of what my writings in koffeemocha has always been about: balancing reflection with action, asking questions that bring us closer to understanding. Whether you are organizing events, participating in them, or observing from afar, every role matters.

What unites us is the why: the shared intention to serve, uplift, and connect this community in ways that endure. And it’s in honoring that intention, through transparency, collaboration, and trust, that we find a way forward.

To those who attended 12.14, I hope you walked away inspired. To those who raised concerns, your voices are vital to this process. And to those of us reflecting from a distance, perhaps our role lies in asking the questions that help bridge the gap between discord and unity.

At the end of the day, unity doesn’t mean avoiding conflict. It means transforming discord into understanding and division into collaboration. We are all part of this same community, a community capable of holding space for both tradition and innovation, for both being and doing.

From Pleasanton to New York, here’s to learning from the discord, embracing purpose, and finding balance. Because it’s in these quiet pauses that we find the clarity to move forward — together.